Handbrake (Mac/Windows/Linux, free)
Most devices use the the advanced video format (AVC) also known as H.264. If you need to convert any video into AVC, Handbrake will do it, fast. It's designed to do just one thing and one thing well. Of course it does have a few frills, like deinterlacing, freely adjustable bit rates, cropping, and presets for most Apple devices. On Mac and Linux, it also supports 64-bit processors for about a 10% speed bump. It will convert most DVDs in real time, which is pretty quick for a CPU converter. Handbrake open source program, works with all major operating systems, and it's completely free.
SUPER Media File Converter (Windows, free)
SUPER is clunky, a tad on the slowside, and not exactly the most user friendly program out there. Even finding the download link on eRightSoft's website is a chore. However, it's one of the few free converters out there that will literally convert anything into anything. Got an MPEG that needs to be in DV format? Done. It's one of the few programs that actually supports professional formats such as DV, so it's often my go to when editing.
Media Espresso (Windows, $37.56 on sale)
Cyberlink's converting program isn't cheap, but it does have one thing going for it. It will tap into the power of your computer's graphics card. There's a lot of power hidden in there too. It's the most user friendly and straightforward program on our list. It's basic drag and drop converting. Select your file, drag it into Espresso, hit the convert button your device, and it does the rest. You can also set up custom profiles with today's most common video formats. Where Espresso shines is speed. Using my Radeon HD 5770, I can convert a two hour DVD in just 20 minutes. It would normally take the full two hours using Handbrake. Unlike other GPU converters, it works with Intel, nVidia, and AMD graphics chips. If you need to convert big video files fast, and have a reasonably powerful graphics card, it's well worth the expense.
"He'd rather eat, the rotten asshole, of a roadkill skunk and down it with beer." If you're a gamer, chances are you've seen James Rolfe's Angry Video Game Nerd web series. His character is known for a foul mouth, love of bad games, and affinity for Rolling Rock. The beer is popular in Pennsylvania and Rolfe's native New Jersey. The LCBO here in Ontario just started carrying it. I couldn't resist giving the king of nerdy beers a try.
Rolling Rock is a pale larger originally from western Pennsylvania, now based in St. Louis. It's brewed by the Latrobe Brewing Company, as it has since 1939. InBev, a global beer conglomerate behind many famous brands including Budweiser & Alexander Keiths, currently owns them. It is a staple of the AVGN series, and has been since the 2004 pilots. Rolfe's Nerd is seen drinking it to dull the pain of playing bad Nintendo games.
The AVGN made it the king of nerdy beers.I'm writing this as I try the beer. Rolling Rock has a very light yellow colour and pours with a thick, foamy head. It's very reminiscent of "cheap" beers like Molson Canadian or Budweiser. It has a light grainy, but non-alcoholic smell. So I take my first sip.
Yep, this is classic American beer. It's fizzier than most beers I've had. The level of carbonation is close to soda. I guess you'd say it has a light, clean taste. There's no appreciable amount of hops in it. That's fine by me, as I don't like bitter beers. However, there's nothing else in the way of flavour. It has a faint grainy taste, but no malt. Heavily watered down is a more appropriate way to describe it. It's like drinking club soda with a slice of white bread. This is a bad beer.
Rolling Rock is pale, too fizzy, and incredibly weak. I feel bad putting it in the same glass as a good craft beer.
I don't like InBev's brands. A lot of their products are a lesser quality, and weaker, than others I've had. Even Keith's allegedly doesn't qualify as an IPA anymore, it being weaker than in the past. This one is exceptionally poor though. James Rolfe has the right idea. Rolling Rock is only good for dulling the pain. It will get you drunk, and that's it. For those that appreciate good beer, look elsewhere. This is a stereotypical American pisswasser. Despite what the label says, premium this ain't.
Enjoy this review? I might be reviewing some more craft beers to game by in the future. Stay tuned.
Title image copyright Cinemassacre Productions
Avatar is said to be an industry changing movie; even revolutionizing the way movies are made. Is it? I don't think so. It's no more groundbreaking than James Cameron's other movies. I'd venture further and say Titanic was far more of a game changer given the massive scale of it, done without CGI for the most part. The story of Avatar also isn't what one would call original. Think Fern Gully or Disney's Pocahontas in the future. Without giving spoilers, lets just say it's the same old nature loving primitive folk (Giant Cat-Smurfs this time) up against the evil mining/forestry/oil/development corporation/military industrial conplex story that countless movies, books, and video games have been based on. About peace and harmony with the environment and so forth. There's a political side to it as well. The film heavily implies the Iraq War. Native Americans also spring to mind in a plot where alien invaders are pillaging their land for mercantile gains, without thought to those who already live there. The movie starts to feel preachy at times.
Negatives aside, I did enjoy the movie and I don't entirely agree with the Nostalgia Critic calling it lame. Everything was well done, well edited, and the CGI used was stunningly realistic. I think it's probably the first recent movie I've seen in a while that I sat through without looking at my watch once. It's certainly not boring. It's a good movie and you should definitely go see it if you have the chance.
Naturally, I watched the movie in 3D. This was the first 3D movies I've seen and I found it quite impressive rather than just being gimmicky. Cameron used it as a new depth of field rather than just having crap fly at you. Despite that, I found the RealD process really hurt my eyes and I had a killer headache when I got home. It reminds me of the bad old days when I used to game in front a low refresh CRT monitor. I also felt a little disorientated, though that may be the result of sitting uncomfortably for three hours in a bad seat. Eye problems are likely the result of the movie's frame rate being much lower than it should be. 24fps is too low for this style of cinema.
To the whole 3D trend in general, I'm seeing it as just a gimmick, especially 3DTV. There's going to be absolutely nobody supporting this technology beyond a handful of Blu-ray movies. Not many are going to replace their brand new HDTVs anytime soon. Television studios took over a decade to fully upgrade to HD and even today, many popular shows (such as CBC's The Hour) are still shot in standard definition. The problem? It's just to expensive to upgrade the equipment so soon. Plus, you need compatible editing software, bigger serves, and you have to retrain everyone to work in the new medium. ESPN and Discovery have announced 3D channels for the US. ESPN has the financial backing of the sports industry. The NFL has deep pockets and thus they get the best toys. Discovery can and will just show 3D IMAX movies. In the case of both, somebody else is footing the bill to air this content.
Gaming is also set to go 3D, which could be good or bad. Most likely disorientating. Virtual reality has never really caught on. Sony is working on making the PS3 3D compatible though I don't know how they'll do this. In previous 3D systems from nVidia, using glasses, performance was roughly halved using the technology.
3D may eventually come in but I think it will be at least a decade before we start seeing it replace conventional 2D video, if ever.
It's been over a year since I wrote about how to get free HDTV in the Toronto area using a digital antenna. This was before the Americans shut off all high power analogue stations last June. Canada is still poised to switch to ATSC in August 31st, 2011. So how is the HD switch progressing in Canada? We've seen a little movement in the past year but the process is still vary slow.
Perhaps the biggest announcement comes from the CBC. My inside sources tell me that the network will be switching to full HD in the next couple of months. Currently, most of its newer programming is already high def, but news and live studio programs (ie. The Hour, Steven & Chris) are not. The shows are currently broadcast in 16:9 SD video. The network is moving away from the tape based DVCPRO format to Sony's XDCAM, which use the blu-ray based Professional Disc. Broadcasts will be 100% server based instead of using tape. This makes editing less time consuming. The process has been slow due to the high cost of the equipment. A single portable XDCAM is upwards of $24,000.
With the CBC moving their news and studio shows to full HD within the next couple of months, this leaves Global as the sole network to broadcast in 4:3 SD video. CTV Toronto made a switch to full HD earlier this year, while CITY Toronto has been in full HD for some time now.
Canadian specialty stations have been particularly slow on joining the HD bandwagon. Movie networks remain the leaders. TMN and MPIX have been HD for some time now. Astral Media debuted HBO Canada in HD a few months back.
Showcase is currently the only Canadian non-sports specialty channel that broadcasts regularly in HD. Discovery HD still has a fairly limited programming repertoire. It airs the same nature shows it always did and really serves as more of a tech demo for high definition than anything else. Popular shows such as Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs are shot in high def in the US but are not aired on Discovery Canada's HD channel. Channels such as The Comedy Network have applied to the CRTC to begin broadcasting in HD. However, there has been no word on when, or if, these will be rolled out. American specialty networks such as A&E, TLC, HDNET, and National Geographic regularly broadcast in HD. Vary few Canadian specialty networks have shown interest in the switch.
Sports channels, being the primary draw to high definition, are leading the pack. The Golf Channel recently debuted it's HD version, which it airs regular HD content identical to the SD version.
Some signs are pointing to movement. Bell TV is currently in the process of reorganizing its high definition channels. Previously, they had a block of 100 available stations in the 800-900 range for high def content. They are currently moving this to the channel 1000+ with more than 500 spaces reserved. This suggests that Bell plans to start offering full time shifting in HD soon. Currently only Toronto and Vancouver stations are available. It also indicates that Bell expects the specialty networks to be making the switch in the near future. Bell still does not offer HD versions of Hamilton based CHCH, and Toronto based multicultural channels OMNI 1 & 2. These are available on OTA antenna and through some cable providers. Cable, however, has been much slower at rolling out HD content and still carries analogue broadcasts.
So, it looks like things haven't really changed in the HD world but signs are pointing to a shakeup. Stay tuned....
"Mr. Bay, those aren't ideas they're just special effects." "I don't understand the difference..." Ah yes, another Michael Bay classic, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. My best friend was stoked for this movie after seeing the first one. She's a big anime fan so this is right up her ally. After the movie, we both pretty much had the same reaction. In the immortal words of Jay Sherman "it stinks." Well maybe it's so bad it's good. No, it doesn't even qualify for that. Transformers 2 is just plain bad. I think it encompasses everything wrong with the summer blockbuster. It lacks anything resembling a concrete story and heavily uses CGI special effects as filler.
The movie begins as Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is heading back to college, and thus has to separate from his girlfriend Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox). Has car Bumblebee also says that he will miss him. Sam still has a shard of the energon cube from the first movie, which the resurrected Decepticon leader Megatron wants. This is so he can use it to fulfil The Fallen's command, which somehow involves destroying the sun. The Autobots, under Optimus Prime, have to stop him. However, they run into problems when Optimus dies in battle. Sam, Mikaela, and the other Autobots have to hunt down the location of the Fallen's sun destroying weapon to finish him off once and for good. Ok, so that pretty much sums up the entire film.
The movie runs for 150min, which is at least an hour too long. This movie relies heavily on filler, such as extensive scenes of LaBeouf, Fox, John Turturro (playing an ex CIA agent), and Ramón Rodríguez (Sam's college roommate) wandering the Egyptian desert. These scenes do nothing to advance the story only serve to show off just how annoying the characters are. The film was also significantly dumbed down from the fist one, if that were possible. In one of the first scenes we see, Sam's chihuahua is madly humping another dog. Sam's mom while visiting his college somehow buys pot not knowing what it is and goes on an unfunny stoned rampage to the embarrassment of her son. (I'd be embarrassed too if I were in this movie) Despite all that, I took the stupidity right up until truck balls. The Decepticon Devastator (the giant robot seen climbing the pyramid) actually has two large wrecking balls dangling between his legs, which the movie clearly points out through Turturro's observations. Bay himself has confirmed that these are Devastator's "testicles". Really, truck balls?! It doesn't really offend my sense of decency but come on, it's just so incredibly stupid. That one scene sucked my IQ down 50 points. Why would anybody put that in there! You know somebody made an executive decision to keep that. Then there's Mudflap and Skids, the two cars that bust out the Ebonics. Some have claimed the look and voices of the two Autobot twins is a racial stereotype against urban blacks. I wholeheartedly agree. Once again, I'm not morally offended by this, but it's just dumb; Jar Jar Binks dumb. Lastly, there also seems to be a lot of hot models attending Sam's college. This is a common Hollywood cliche in movies like this. After five years (don't ask) at UofT, with the majority of the student body being female, I can assure you that college does not look like that in real life. Well, unless you have an Asian fetish, then go nuts.
If the movie couldn't get any worse, the all consuming special effects look awful to boot. The Transformers have a cartoony/plasticy look that doesn't add to the realism. It's a live action movie but it almost has a Bed Knobs & Broomsticks feel to it; a cartoon within a live film. CGI, when poorly done, will always stand out like a sore thumb. A good artist will make them look like they belong there. A good example would be Iron Man last summer, or Lord of the Rings. Transformers just looks like garbage though. The faces of the robots were particularly badly done. Transformation scenes looked good though but the robots should probably stick to their disguise forms. Mind you, the explosions and action scenes are well done, as they should be considering it's 90% of the movie.
Over all, this film has no saving grace. I have no idea how this movie has continued to stay in the top 10 box office gross list for so long. It's probably the worst movie I've seen in some time. Definitely not worth the $10 for the ticket. It's unnecessarily long, it's boring, it looks awful, and it has no story what so ever. Don't waste your time, not even renting it on DVD.
Score: 2 out of 10
What Works:
-Transformation scenes and action involving live action actors looks good
What Doesn't Work:
-Everything else
Back in the early 90s, Canadian youth orientated cable network YTV broadcast a series of early computer animation clips during their "Short Circutz" segment. A majority were from The Mind's Eye: A Computer Animation Odyssey, a series of art films which was produced in 1990 by Steven Churchill of Odyssey Productions. I had long forgotten this still until I stumbled upon it on Once Upon A Win, a nostalgia blog. The clips are examples of vary early, some would say groundbreaking 3D computer animation. This was made five years before Toy Story. Admittedly, these clips have not aged well. A film such as Mind's Eye would have taken expensive, professional render farms to produce in 1990. Contrasted to today, something similar could be produced by amateurs using a single, low cost home PC and basic 3D modelling software, and could be rendered in real time at high resolutions. Despite their primitive appearance, the films do have a certain beauty to them. The music for the films was produced by several musicians including Thomas Dolby or Blinded by Science fame. In case you're wondering, the original Mind's Eye is not available on DVD. There were some VHS copies floating around but for most people, Youtube is the only place you can watch them.
There are so many great episodes of the Simpsons that I wished I could have added to my original top ten. As a follow up to my post back in July, I'm going to list the best Simpsons episodes per season. In the case of seasons that have an episode already on the top ten, I'll select the runner up from that season.
Season 1: The Crapes of Wrath
The vary first season of the ground breaking series. The earliest episodes were largely just extended Ulman shorts. Crapes was one of the first episodes to introduce a well developed story that could not be told in less than five minutes. As a prank, Bart flushes a cherry bomb down the boys toilet, causing Springfield Elementary's entire plumbing system to explode. Skinner's mother just happened to be using the bathroom at the time. As punishment, Bart is sent to France as an exchange student. While there, he gets setup at the Chateau Maison (The Mansion House) and is forced into making wine for two crooked vineyard owners. In return for Bart, an Albanian named boy Adiel stays with the Simpsons. Adiel turns out to be a spy attempting to gain American nuclear secrets. Back in France, Bart discovers the two Frenchmen adding anti-freeze to the wine, which is dangerous and grossly illegal. (Adding anti-freeze to wine is an old scam. Ethalene Glycol that makes up anti-freeze is an alcohol, but its not the same as ethanol, which is the natural alcohol in alcoholic beverages. It is added to grape juice to make "wine" without the normal lengthy aging process require to produce ethanol. It would produce a sweet tasting "wine", but is toxic and potentially lethal) Bart tries to tell the police, but he can't speak French. Finally, the language comes to him, the vineyard owners are arrested, and Bart comes home as a hero. The episode shows Bart has a heart and isn't as dumb as he appears to be.
Season 2: Lisa's Substitute
By season 2, the series had begun to mature into its own. The second season had many memorable episodes. Lisa's Substitute is probably one of the most important episodes of the entire series and is a close 11th place behind The Way We Was. Hypochondriac second grade teacher Ms. Hoover thinks she has Lyme Disease and takes off work. Substituting is a charismatic Jewish teacher named Mr Burgstrum. Lisa instantly falls in love with the intelligent, caring teacher who is a far cry from the bitter and jaded Hoover. Lisa sees her new teacher as the father figure she never had. He nurtures her intelligence unlike the dimwitted Homer. Lisa eventually reacts to Homer's uncaring attitude by calling him a baboon. Like all subs though, Burgstrum eventually leaves but before he goes, he gives Lisa an important message. "You are Lisa Simpson". Lisa eventually patches things up with her dad. A heart warming episode from an overall excellent season. Also a great performance by Dustin Hoffman (AKA Sam Etic) as Mr. Burgstrum. The episode bares some similarities with Hoffman's film The Graduate.
Season 3: Like Father, Like Clown
The third season is widely considered by fans to be the one in which the show finally matured. Krusty the Clown has been a predominant secondary character since the first season. He's a boozing, womanizing, surly, playboy TV clown who Bart adores. In this episode, Krusty comes over for dinner as a reward for Bart getting him out of jail in Season 1. While there, we learn Krusty is Jewish. All his life, he wanted to be an entertainer but his Rabbi father strongly disapproved. 25 years of not speaking to his father has begun to take a toll on the clown. Bart and Lisa decide to reunite the two. Rabbi Krustofsky wants none of it despite the two kids reading from the Jewish scriptures to try and prove that his religion commands father and son to make up. Eventually, Bart reads the Rabbi a passage that sums up the Jewish struggle eloquently. It was written by Sammy Davis Jr, and entertainer like his son. The Rabbi decides that maybe having an entertainer as a son isn't such a bad thing after all and he and Krusty patch things up. A good human story wrapped up in some great humour. Also features Jewish comedian Jackie Mason as the Rabbi. The episode is a parody of the 1927 film "The Jazz Singer".
Season 4: Marge vs the Monorail
"A town with money is like a mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows where he got it and danged if he knows how to use it." This episode is a parody of The Music Man. Lyle Langly comes to Springfield promising to sell the city a bonified, electrified, six car monorail. The town is excited to have an ultramodern mass transit system and quickly buys into Langly's shtick. Marge is skeptical about the idea, especially when Homer is given the job of conductor/driver. It turns out that Langly has sold monorails to three other towns. Each one turned out to be a death trap. Marge meets the designer and the two rush back to Springfield to save Homer from the now runaway train. In the end, Homer learns that there's nothing that doughnuts can't do. This episode features some of the best musical numbers of the series. The late Phil Hartmann did an excellent job portraying the crooked Langly. Maybe it's a coincidence, but I think the series started to fall right after his death. (Hartmann, an SNL veteran who was frequently a guest voice on the Simpsons, was murdered by his wife in 1998) Lenard Nemoy also guest stars in this episode, playing himself.
Season 5: Homer and Apu
Apu sells Homer some tainted meat, twice, landing Homer in the hospital with severe food poisoning. When the owners of the Qwick-E-Mart chain find out, Apu is promptly fired. (Apparently his brother Sanjay sold the store) Actor James Woods is hired to take his place. Apu at first isn't mad at Homer, seeing it was his fault that Homer got sick. The broke convenience store clerk lives with the Simpsons briefly, paying his way by doing chores around the house. Apu is a mess so he and Homer decide to go to Qwick-E-Mart headquarters, home of the world's first convenience store, to get his job back. The store turns out to be in India, on the top of a remote mountain, which really isn't that convenient. The guru manning the store knows all except the combination to the safe. The pair may only ask him three questions, which Homer promptly wastes before Apu can ask for his job back. Outraged, Apu and Homer get into a fight and end up back in Springfield. While there, Apu takes a bullet for James Woods and is rewarded with his job back. A perfectly entertaining episode from start to finish with a good soul searching theme.
Season 6: Homer the Great
Homer learns why Lenny and Carl have so many special privileges at work. They're members of the secret, ancient order of the Stone Cutters, a Mason-esque brotherhood that every man in Springfield, except Homer, belongs to. To join, one has to be the son of a Stonecutter, or save the life of a Stonecutter. Since Abe is a member, Homer gets to join too. Soon after joining, he destroys the club's sacred parchment by using it as a napkin. He is immediately ejected from the club, after his punishment of course where he has to be naked for some reason. While dragging the stone of shame, the Stonecutters discover a birthmark on Homer which labels him as the "chosen one". Homer is now the unquestioned king of the Stonecutters. Discovering he's unhappy with his new title, Homer decides the club should give back to society by helping people around town. Homer finds his niche and starts really making a difference to Springfield's less well off residents. The other members get fed up with all the do-gooding and break off from the Stonecutters, forming the sacred, ancient order of "No Homers". The episode shows off Homer's classic struggle to be loved and accepted by his pals. Patrick Stewart shows off his funny bone in one of his earlier comedic voice rolls.
Season 7: Mother Simpson
Homer was told long ago that his Mom was dead. Upon trying to fake his own death to get out of forced volunteer work, Homer has to right it with the city, where he is told she's still alive. Homer desperately searches the cemetery for her grave, and meets Mona Simpson there, alive and well. She had been on the lamb for 30 years after trying to sabotage Mr Burns' germ warfare facility during the late 60s. Mona had grown tired of Abe's Madison avenue scene and decided to become a hippie radical. After the incident with Burns, Mona was forced to abandon her family in the middle of the night. With the two reunited, Homer and his mom try to spend some quality time with each other. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa stumble on Grandma's past where she is forced to spill the beans to her son. Burns finds out she's still alive and goes after her. In the end, Mona is forced to flee again, but this time she can tell Homer she loves him. I like the episodes with the human stories, back when the series used to do them of course. Abe has some memorable moments in this episode. Glen Close stars as Mona Simpson.
Season 8: Bart After Dark
The ground breaking Season 8 had a lot of memorable episodes and two were already on my top ten best of all time. I went with Bart After Dark just because it's a fun episode and combines several of my favourite things. After Nelson and Bart crash Milhouse's RC plane into a mysterious mansion, Bart destroys a precious gargoyle while attempting to retrieve it. Bart is forced to work for the reclusive old lady who lives there to pay for the damage. Unknown to Bart or the rest of the town, the house is a Burlesque theater run by the old lady Belle. (Burlesque is a type of variety show involving comedy routines, song & dance, and striptease. It's more tasteful than modern strip clubs but was considered scandalous in it's heyday) Scantily clad woman, booze, and gambling are on tap at the Maison Derrière. (Literally the Back House as Belle describes, but more accurately the Rear House, as in a lady's butt) When Marge finds out, she immediately tries to close the place down, ends up accidentally destroying the building, and is forced to pay off the damage just as Bart had to do. There are a lot of memorable scenes. Bart working the door is probably one of my favourites. There's also the big song and dance routine, which won an Emmy. Plus, I love Milhouse's line about "perfectly level flying is the supreme challenge of the scale model pilot", which is hilarious knowing the hardcore stunts those planes are capable of. The crashing part is accurate though.
Season 9: Lisa's Sax
Season 9 started out good but then kind of dropped off into 1998. Lisa's Sax is a memorable episode since it introduces how Lisa got her saxophone and how Bart became the person he is. Bart is just starting school and becomes the outcast of the kindergarten class. While speaking to the councilor about Bart, they discover that Lisa has a special gift of intelligence that needs to be nurtured. Homer wants to enroll her in private school but all the family has is $500 to spare, which Homer had put aside for an air conditioner. He's frustrated about how to nurture his daughter and yet keep his cool at the same time. In the mean time, Bart learns he can make the kids laugh and earns the title of class clown by telling Skinner to "eat my shorts" for the first time. In the end, Homer discovers Lisa's musical talent and spends the AC budget on a saxophone for his daughter. He is finally proud of one of the kids, but is forced to endure another sweltering summer.
Season 10: D'oh-in in the Wind
By Season 10, the show started to fall apart. This is when a lot of today's most frequent criticisms of the show started really becoming noticeable. Namely the wackier, more slapstick humour and the over reliance on "A list" celebrity guest stars. I found it hard to pick an episode I really liked from this season. This particular one features Homer J. Simpson trying to find his middle name. He travels to the hippie commune where his mother stayed to find out his past. It turns out he was named Jay. The episode gives some more back story to Homer's mother and his childhood. It features the late George Carlin as an ex-hippie who makes organic juice for a living. The Springfield wide drug trip scene after Homer tainted the juice with drugs was classic. "Pucker up Ned!"
South Park is a unique show. It has it's crude drawings and foul language but underneath the show has a lot of black comedy and witty social commentary. Lets look at my 10 best and 5 worst picks
Ten Best South Park Episodes
10. Christmas in Canada (Season 7): The new Canadian Prime Minister has decreed that all adopted Canadian children must be returned to their Canadian parents. Kyle's brother Ike is one of these children that must return. The town decides to give all their Christmas presents to Kyle's family to get them through this difficult time. Of course Cartman is really pissed off at this so Kyle and the boys head to Canada to get Ike back. The episode is a hilarious parody of the Wizard of Oz. The boys meet Rick the Mountie, who is forced to ride a sheep due to budget cuts, a French Canadian mime who can't drink wine, and Steve the Newfoundlander who's had his sodomy taken away by the new Prime Minister. The boys eventually get to Ottawa on time and meet the new PM who turns out to be Saddam Hussain. All his new laws are null and void and kyle gets Ike back, but not before missing Christmas. Cartman challenges Kyle to a fist fight and gets his nose broken.
9. Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy (Season 10): Season 10 had so many great episodes. In this one, the kindergarten teacher Ms Stephenson is having an ilicit relationship with Kyle's toddler brother Ike. Meanwhile, Cartman gets a job as hall monitor, where he takes up the persona of Dog the Bounty Hunter. Dawg Cartman isn't taking crap from anyone in his hallways. He eventually catches Ike and Ms Stephenson's affair and teams up with Kyle (Jew) to split them up. Cartman has a crack team of Beth (his bitch, a female Cartman with huge breasts covering her face), Earl (Dawg's redneck driver) and Leroy (Dawg's assistant). Armed with bear mace, Dawg Cartman races to hunt Ms Stephens down before they can fly off to Milan. (Which Ike mistakes for Mulan, a Disney cartoon) In the end, Ike learns that there are plenty of fish in the sea. The episode parodies how hot woman teachers have gotten off charges of having sex with minors while ugly ones or men haven't. "Nice".
8. Cartman Joins NAMBLA (Season 4): Many people don't realize that the North American Man Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) is a real group. Cartman decides that Stan, Kyle, and Kenny aren't mature enough for him so he decides to find older friends. He gets on chat rooms for "older men who like young boys" and gets propositioned by several perverts, including Mr Garison who's shocked to find he's been coming on to Cartman. Cartman talks to Mafesto because he wants to clone older friends and Mafesto tells him to try NAMBLA, a group that would be perfect for him. Cartman goes to the meeting and quickly becomes the poster boy for the dirty old men. They send him off to recruit more young boys. When the Mafesto catches wind of this, he finds out that Cartman went to the wrong NAMBLA. Mafesto had originally directed him to the National Association of Marlon Brando Look-Alikes. Cartman and the boys are trapped in a hotel with the men who want to have sex with them, and they need to escape fast. Cartman suggests that in all fairness, Butters should be offered to "take one for the team" since the old men will leave once they have sex with one boy. The sub plot of the episode involves Kenny's parents trying to have another baby, which Kenny is desperate to stop. We find out where the replacement Kennys keep coming from each time Kenny dies.
7. The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers (Season 6): The boys have just watched Lord of the Rings and are playing as their favourite characters when they are given a quest: return the video to the video store. Randy and Sharon are about to watch a porno when they discover they've given the boys the wrong video. The video, Backdoor Sluts 9, becomes the One Video for the boys. Butters manages to get a hold of the porn, and becomes obsessed with it; becoming a Gollum like creature. The boys take the video to Token's house to decide what to do with it. Token volunteers to watch the video to observe its evil power. When finished, he declares he's not playing anymore. The parents eventually catch up to Token and try to explain to him what he saw. (Backdoor Sluts 9 apparently has DP and scatological scenes.) On the way to the store, the boys meet up with the 6th graders who want the porn for themselves. Butters follows them from the shadows and the parents race to get the tape back. A great send up of Lord of the Rings, it's one of those great episodes of the boys just being boys.
6. Casa Bonita (Season 7): Casa Bonita is a real restaurant in Colorado and according to Matt and Trey is pretty much exactly how it's depicted in this episode. It's like a Mexican Chucky Cheese. Kyle is going there on his birthday and doesn't invite Cartman. Of course he's upset by that since Casa Bonita is his favourite restaurant. Kyle says he's going with Butters instead, but caves and says if Butters can't go, then maybe Cartman can take his place. Of course Cartman will do anything to go. He tells Butters there's an asteroid coming to hit South Park and the only way he can survive is if he hides in Jimbo's bomb shelter. Cartman has to keep Butters hidden for seven days but runs into problems when his parents notice Butters missing. This episode is hilarious because it's just pure Cartman and is another great example that shows how far he'll go to get his way.
5. Tsst (Season 10): Another Cartman episode, his mother is distraught by his bad behaviour. Mr Macky suggests she try Nanny 911 and other nanny reality shows to put Cartman on the strait and narrow. Cartman uses his Hanibal Lecter psychology to piss the first nanny off because she bogarted his Xbox. The next nanny claims she can straiten any kid when others fail, but she is driven insane by Cartman's antics. At a loss, Lianne is told to try Caesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer. He tells Lianne that she has to be dominant over her son. She does this by treating him like a dog and pinching him on the neck. Cartman of course doesn't like being treated like an animal but soon discovers the treatment is actually working. He's listening to his mom and he doesn't like it one bit. Cartman resolves to have his Mom killed. It involved having Kenny on lookout, Stan covering her with a pillow, and Kyle shooting her in the face, with Token being framed for the crime. Of course Cartman can't do it himself because he's too obvious a suspect. The boys refuse to play along. He eventually decides to go it alone by stabbing her but goes through a whole Altered States thing as his evil side and his new good side conflict. He eventually wakes up as a good kid but is put back on the the bad track when his mom starts spoiling him again. This episode is great because it explains why Cartman is the way he is.
4. Trapped in the Closet (Season 9): Stan takes a personality test and soon turns into the reincarnation of Scientology's L Ron Hubbard. (Hubbard was a sci-fi writer the founder of Scientology. It was created to "make money" apparently.) He finds his new fame difficult to deal with. Tom Cruise comes to meet him and Stan tells him he's not a good actor. Tom promptly locks himself in Stan's closet. First Nicole Kidman tries to get him out with no luck. Then John Travolta tries but locks himself in the closet too. Finally, R Kelly tries and gets locked in the closet with them. In the mean time, Stan is trying to write new scriptures for Scientology and learns the religion's terrible secret. He decides to make it free for everyone. In response, the group threatens to sue him, in England. (A poke at Scientology's litigatious nature) This episode is a hilarious sent up of the Scientology controversy, and for that reason it has become one of the most controversial South Park episodes. It is believed this is why Isacc Hayes left the show, since he is a Scientologist. (Other reports point to him suffering a medical problem as the real reason) It also pokes fun at the rumors that Cruise and Travolta are gay, and thus in the closet about it.
3. Cartoon Wars (Season 10): Family Guy is going to show Muhammad, uncensored, on national TV. Muslims around the globe are threatening to launch a massive terror attack if the FOX network doesn't censor the image. Cartman decides he can't let this happen and vows to go to Los Angeles to get the episoded pulled. Kyle comes with him after having nightmares about getting nuked. While riding on their big wheels to LA, Cartman tells Kyle the real meat of his plan. Get one episode pulled, then another group can demand to get another episode pulled, and so on so the show gets canceled. He hates Family Guy. Cartman is sick of having it's humor compared to his and wants it of the air for good. Kyle, who likes the show, must race to LA to stop Cartman before he can do it. While in LA, we learn that Family guy is written by Manatees who put jokes together with idea balls. Take one ball out of the tank and they stop working. Cartman recruits Bart Simpson (just referred to as "Kid") to help him with his plan. The episode ends with a an epic showdown between Kyle and Cartman. In the end, Muhammad is aired uncensored, but Comedy Central pusses out and doesn't show him. This episode obviously take a lot of pokes at Family Guy for being a ripoff of the Simpsons and South Park. However, it's underlying theme was how American media treated the Danish Mohammed Cartoon controversy. Mohammad was shown on South Park uncensored in Super Best Friends, where he is depicted as a super hero.
2. Scott Tenorman Must Die (Season 5): Cartman buys pubes (pubic hair) off eigth grader Scott Tenorman for $10. He reasons that simple having pubes makes him a man. The boys tell him that Scott ripped him off so Cartman goes to get his $10 back. In the process of his crazy schemes to get the money back (including pretending to be an IRS agent collecting a Pubes tax), Cartman ends up losing an additonal $6.12. When he finds out he's been had, Scott makes him grovel by making him sing "I'm a little piggie", which Scott later airs a video of on TV. An irate Cartman gathers the fourth graders to get back at Scott since "he may take our lives, but he'll never take my GOD DAMN $16.12!" The boys don't play along so Cartman is on his own. He decides to train a pony to bite off Scott's wiener in front of his favourite band Radiohead. When the boys tip off Scott, Cartman changes his plan, he'll set up a fake Chili Con Carnival. Scott tells his parents that Farmer Denkins is abusing the pony. Cartman in turn tells Denkins there are dangerous pony rustlers in the area. Scott takes the pubes from every kid in town and puts them in his chili. Cartman makes his own special recipe. At the carnival, Cartman and Scott have a chili tasting contest. Unbeknownst to Scott, Cartman switched the pube chili with Chef's. He then informs Scott that his parents were shot on sight by Denkins. Cartman made off with the bodies and spent the night with a hacksaw to be ready for his Chilli Con Carnival. Cartman informs Scott that he's been eating his own parents. Scott bursts into tears, and Radiohead labels him as a cry baby. This episode is great because it marks Cartman's transition form being just an asshole to the most evil kid in the world. All that for $16.12. The boys learn that it's wise never to piss Cartman off.
1. Imagination Land (Season 12): A brilliant three story arc which sees the boys transported into the imagination, which is promptly attacked by terrorists who unleash the imprisoned evil imaginary characters. The episode begins with Kyle making a bet with Cartman that there is no such thing as leprechauns. The prize if Carman wins? Kyle has to literally suck his balls. Cartman eventually finds the leprechaun and shows it to Kyle, who tries to weasel out of the bet. Cartman eventually gets a court order forcing Kyle to do it. In the mean time, Butters gets stuck in Imagination Land trying to flee from the evil imaginary characters, including Al Gore's ManBearPig (a reference to global warming) and Cartman's satanic Christmas Critters. Jason Vorhees notes that he wouldn't want to meet the twisted kid for dreamt up the Critters. (The Critters were made up by Cartman back in Season 8's Woodland Critter Christmas to demonize Kyle.) While meeting with characters such as Aslan, Popeye, Glinda, and Luke Skywalker (the rulers of Imagination Land), Butters learns he has a special power to create and change things in Imagination Land. He uses this power to help the good characters fight the evil ones. Stan and Kyle go to rescue Butters while Cartman tries to hunt Kyle down and force him to suck his balls. In the end, Cartman uses Butters' power to make an imaginary Kyle suck an imaginary Cartman's balls. According to Cartman, Kyle is a "dirty girl". This episode is great on so many levels. It pokes at how our post-9/11 society has lost it's imagination, it pokes fun at Al Gore and global warming, and it's yet another example of how far Cartman will go to get his way.
Five Worst Episodes
5. Pip (Season 4): This episode is a very loose retelling of Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, starring Pip Purrup, who is the main character from the book. Pip has been in past South Park episodes as the third grade's British kid. The episode features (part live action) and is narrated by Malcom McDowell, who played Alex in A Clockwork Orange. He simply identifies himself as "A British Person". The episode is considered too esoteric and is not shown often on Comedy Central in the US due to it being unpopular with the fans. The Comedy Network in Canada runs every episode from the beginning to the end so it is shown more frequently here. It doesn't feature any of the boys or any other South Park characters except Pip. It's not really that bad an episode but I can see how some would find it too off beat for South Park. Pip seems to have disappeared from the show since "Professor Chaos" with the exception of being used as a non-speaking background character. He has not been seen at all since "D-Yikes".
4. Mr Garison's Fancy New Vagina (Season 9): Garison is the ultimate perv. He's been strait, gay, a zoophile, a pedophile, and tried to engage in incest with his own Dad. (Though he ended up having sex with Kenny G instead, thinking it was his dad) Now he decides he wants to be transgendered and gets a sex change operation to become a woman. The doctor also gives Kyle a "negroplasty" to make him black and therefore better at basket ball. He uses Garison's balls for knee implants. Gerald is turned into a dolphin using Garison's scrotum to make the dorsal fin. When finding out he can't menstruate, Garison decides he's not a full woman and wants to be changed back. His balls are eventually destroyed when kyle lands hard and crushes them. Garison in the end decides to keep being a "woman" for the time being. I never liked the idea of Garison as a woman. He's a lot funnier as a guy. Thank god they changed him back in "Eek, a Penis".
3. Woodland Critter Christmas (Season 8): A Christmas story staring Stan who's encountered some cute woodland critters while walking through the forest. At first appearing to be a retelling of the birth of Jesus, Stan learns that one of the critters is about to give birth to the spawn of Satan. In celebration, the critters have a blood orgy. During the episode, Kyle craves the evil power and is possessed by the devil spawn before the satanic fetus can be aborted from him by a group of mountain lion cubs. In the end, Kyle dies of AIDS. (He almost really did in Tonsil Trouble, which also could have made this list.) The whole episode turns out to be a story written by Cartman for a class presentation. Critter Christmas is one of the weakest Christmas episodes. It's a gorey and horrifying episode even for South Park, but also it's just not very entertaining or laugh out loud funny either. This episode clearly suggests that Cartman might be mentally ill, which has been hinted at before but in much funnier ways.
2. Lice Capades (Season 11): Clyde has lice and he doesn't want anybody to know. That would have been a great premise had they not followed the lice's point of view. The whole point of the episode seems to be we should not abuse our environment, though Matt and Trey have mocked the environmental movement in the past several times. (Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow, ManBearPig) This episode has it's moments but it's just too bizarre and corny, even for South Park, though the last scene with them settling in Angelina Jolee's pubic hair was funny. (It's rumored Angelina doesn't like to be touched, therefore her pubic hair would he a safe haven.)
1. A Million Little Fibers (Season 10): Both Matt and Trey have admitted this is a weak episode. It pokes fun at the Million Little Pieces controversy on Oprah. (An issue that's really difficult to parody since it was basically just a guy claiming a work of fiction he wrote was his real life story.) The episode features Towlie McTowel who has written a book about his life. (Towlie is an anthropomorphic beach towel who likes to get high on marijuana. Last seen in the episode "Towlie", I always though of him as a weak character) He pretends to be a human since towels can't get books published, and hence there is controversy when Oprah finds out he's really a towel. In the mean time Oprah's vagina Mingy decides to hold a coup with her anus Gary due to both having a lack of attention from their owner. The episode doesn't feature the boys at all and the story is weak, making it the worst South Park episode yet.
Ten Best Simpsons Episodes
10. The Way We Was (Season 2): Way back in the 1970s, Homer meets Marge in high school. He instantly falls in love with her. However, it's unrequited. Homer tries to get the girl but Marge refuses his advances. She goes to the prom with somebody else. But, her nerdy date Artie Ziff is less than a gentleman. In the end, Marge and Homer realize they were meant to be together.
A heart warming episode with great character development. The early episodes portrayed Homer and Marge as real people. It's a sharp contrast to the implausible caricatures of modern society they are today. The songs in this episode were brilliant. It introduces Homer & Marger's "song" as being Close to You, sung by the Carpenters. I'm man enough to admit it's one of the few songs that makes me tear up.
9. Treehouse of Horror V (Season 6): "No reading my mind between 4 and 5, that's Willy's TIME!" The Halloween specials have been an annual hallmark for the Simpsons. The specials aren't canon and place our favourite family in some pretty bizzare situations. The earlier specials were mostly sendups of old horror movies and TV shows like Night Gallery and the Twilight Zone.
Treehouse of Horror V sees plays on the Shining, Nineteen Eighty-Four, The Time Machine, and Soylent Green. In Homer's time travel caper, he unfortunately misses out on a paradise world where he's rich, drives a Lexus, has well behaved kids, Patty and Selma are dead, and it rains doughnuts. In the Shinning, we find out what it really takes to drive Homer to kill. "No TV and no beer make Homer something something..." Willy gets an ax in the back not once, not twice, but thrice. James Earl Jones was this episode's special guest. "This is indeed a disturbing universe." Also, who couldn't find Ned Fanders as the unquestioned, Big Brother ruler of the world hilarious?
8. Homer's Phobia (Season 8): Homer's new friend (voiced by John Waters) loves 1950s camp but there's just something odd about him. He's a ho ... mo ... SEXUAL! Homer has a case of homophobia and fear's John's gayness is rubbing off on Bart. Zaaap.
Homer tires to man up his son my taking him to a cigarette billboard featuring two scantily clad women (ironically for women's cigarettes), a (gay) steel mill, and deer hunting. Homer and Bart almost get gored at Santa's Village by angry reindeer, but are saved by John and his robotic Japanese Santa at the last minute. John thinks they'd naturally be afraid of their cruel master. Homer is thankful for being saved and develops a new appreciation for gays. He's determined to love Bart no matter what he turns out to be. This episode also has a hilarious scene where Smithers encounters John. The two are apparently close. And you thought he was just a Burnssexual.
7. You Only Move Twice (Season 8): Homer gets an executive job at Globex Corporation in Cyprus Creek, which is upstate somewhere. The whole family gets moved to the new town which makes Springfield truly look like America's crud bucket. The president of Globex, Mr Scorpio seems like the perfect boss, but he's hiding a terrible secret. Bart meanwhile gets put in remedial classes (I moved here from Can...ah...duh and they think I'm a little slow ..... eh), Lisa finds she's allergic to everything in town, and a bored Marge turns to drinking. (A glass of wine a day, she can't drink as much as the doctor recommended glass and a half) Scorpio turns out to be a Bond-esque super villain who threatens the UN and has aspirations of world domination. Globex is just a front to develop doomsday weapons. Homer ends up accidentally getting "loafer" James Bont killed and leaves just before Scorpio unleashes his weapon. His boss takes over the entire east coast and gives Homer the Denver Broncos as a parting gift. Homer had originally wanted to own the Dallas Cowboys and is disappointed with the fumbling Broncos. Ironically the team won the Super Bowl the following year. (Presumably Homer still owns the Broncos, which would explain why he's spent so little time working at the power plant in recent seasons without financial penalty.) A great performance by Albert Brooks as Scorpio.
6. The City of New York vs Homer Simpson (Season 9): This episode has not been shown much since 9/11 due to it prominently featuring the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center. After a drinking binge, Barney borrows Homer's car and ends up getting it lost in New York City. The family is excited to go to the Big Apple to retrieve it but Homer isn't. During the 1970s while visiting the city, Homer had garbage dumped on him by Woody Allen, was robbed by a cop, and attacked by pimps and CHUDs. (Canaballistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers, from the 1984 horror B-movie of the same name.) The family goes off to have a wonderful day while Homer finds the car at the WTC, with a boot on it. Angered by having to wait, Homer tries to drive the car with the boot on and eventually goes on an angry rampage through the city. The "Checkin In" Broadway show scene was brilliant.
5. Cape Feare (Season 5) : Somebody has been sending Bart threatening letters written in blood. The FBI places the Simpsons in the witness protection program until the perpetrator can be caught. Of course it turns out to be Sideshow Bob, who follows the family to their new house boat at Terror Lake. "Surprise boy in bed, slit his throat, and then disembowel him. No, no, I don't like that bowel in there. GUT him!" With the family tied up and nowhere to run, Bart distracts Bob by making him sing the entire score of the HMS Pinafore, which Bob just happens to know off by heart. The house boat eventually drifts down river back to Springfield where a bathrobe clad Chief Wiggum, who had been visiting a near by brothel (for law enforcement purposes surely), promptly arrests Bob. "Bake em away toys". This episode contains a lot of classic gags from Bob stepping on the rakes, Homer scaring Bart in bed, and the family driving through a cactus patch with a very exposed Bob strapped to the underside of the car. It's arguably Bob's (and Kelsey Grammer's) best appearance on the show. In recent years, Bob has devloved to being another baffoon rather than the cultured, evil genius he originally was.
4. Homer's Barbershop Quartet (Season 5): In the Summer of 1985, Homer, Skinner, Apu, Barney and (formally) Wiggum form a Barbershop Quartet. The group rises to fame, even winning a Grammy (beating out one trick pony Dexy's Midnight Runners), before crashing down hard and returning to their old lives. This episode perfectly lampoons the rise and fall of the Beatles. From Barney replacing Wiggum (Ringo replacing Pete Best), Moe's Cavern (the Cavern Club in Liverpool), Apu changing his name (Richard Starky became Ringo Starr), Bigger than Jesus, Barney's new girlfriend the Japanese conceptual artists (Lennon and Ono), and the rooftop farewell concert ("It's been done"). The episode features the voice talent of David Crosby ("you're a musician?!" Barny quips, linking himself to Crosby's similar alcohol abuse) , George Harrison (who directs Homer to some brownies), and the Dapper Dans. Every Beatle except for John Lennon has appeared on the Simpsons. John of course was murdered in the early 80s, long before the show premiered.
3. El viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (Season 8): On their way to the Springfield chili cook off, Homer promises Marge he won't get drunk this time. At the cook off, Wiggum feeds Homer a chili made from super hot peppers grown at a Guatemalan insane asylum. Homer then goes on a capsicum induced "bad trip" into a mysterious desert world inspired by Native American mysticism and the works of author Carlos Castaneda. There he meets his spirit guide, a fox voiced by Johnny Cash, who tells him to find his soul mate. Homer tells the fox it's Marge. "Is it?" the fox replies and disappears. Homer then wakes up on a golf course and tries to reason what he's just been through. Marge, believing that Homer got drunk was the reason he didn't come home that night, refuses to speak to him. Thinking that what the fox said might be true, Homer goes on a spiritual journey around Springfield to find his real soul mate. By the end, it turns out it he and Marge do share a profound mystical bond after all. This episode is a good follow up to the previously mentioned "The Way We Was", showing how dedicated the two are to each other. It's another heart warming episode that also makes you think, even if it contains less overt gags than other episodes. Homer answering the GBM (read "gay black male") personal ad scene though was hilarious.
2. Round Springfield (Season 6): Bart accidentally eats a jagged metal "O" that was put as the "prize" in his Krusty-Os cereal. Bart begins having severe stomach aches, however, nobody but Lisa believes him. He spends the day in agony before Krabapple decides (after letting him suffer a little longer) to send him to the nurse. Bart's appendix is about to burst and he needs emergency surgery. While visiting Bart in the hospital, Lisa meets Bleeding Gums Murphy there, a sax player and her personal idol. Murphy tells her his life story. On her next visit, Lisa finds that Murphy had been very ill and had died the night before. Distraught, Lisa goes out to share the obscure jazz man's greatness with the world. In the mean time, Bart sues Krusty for $100,000 and wins. After being bamboozled by his lawyers, Bart gets to keep just $500, leaving him delighted. Lisa goes to Comic Book Guy to buy Murphy's only album "Sax on the Beach". On finding out that Murphy was dead, CBG doubles the price from $250 to $500, which Lisa can't afford. Bart, eager to spend his $500 is show by CBG the "ultimate pog", featuring the likeness of former Tonight Show host Steve Allen. (Allen was the first host of NBC's The Tonight Show way back in the 1950s before before being succeeded by Jack Par and later the famous Johnny Carson. Allen died in 2000.) Seeing Lisa sad, Bart decides to buy Murphy's album for his sister, noting that when he said he was sick, Lisa was the only one who believed him. Lisa takes the album to a local jazz station but finds its range is only limited to just outside the building. The soul of Bleeding Gums appears and boosts the power of the station so the whole town can hear the album. The two then share one final jam session. Another soul searching episode with a warm ending.
1. Bart Sells His Soul (Season 7): Bart is convinced a soul is just something made up by adults to scare kids so he sells it (in the form of "Bart's Soul" written on a piece of paper) to Milhouse for $5. Bart soon discovers that something may actually be missing. His dog turns on him, the doors at the Quick-E-Mart won't open for him, and he doesn't find things funny anymore. Bart goes out onto the nighttime streets of Springfield to attempt to get his soul back from Milhouse. Milhouse has apparently sold it to Comic Book Guy for Alf pogs. (Pogs was a game played with paper milk bottle caps that was popular in the mid 1990s. I still have mine. Alf was a family sitcom in the late 80s staring a lovable alien who liked to eat cats.) When Bart goes to the comic store, CBG says he sold the soul to someone who was very interested in that kind of thing. Bart is lost and prays to god for his soul back. He is surprised when it magically flutters from above into his hands. Lisa had bought and returned his soul. Bart learns that a soul is something to be earned through hardship and struggle.
Five Worst Episodes
5. How I spent my Strummer Vacation (Season 14): Homer and his buddies go to a rock and roll fantasy camp hosted by the Rolling Stones. I love classic rock but you'd think a show with Mick and the boys would be a lot more fun. High on celebrity value but a dumb episode overall. Not a heck of a lot of difference between this episode and the earlier Homerpalooze, which also wasn't that good in my opinion. The Simpsons has come to rely too heavily on celebrity guest voices.
4. Today I am a Clown (Season 15): Krusty finds out he never had a bar mitzvah and therefore isn't a man. Given his strenuous relationship with his father, as seen in Season 3's "Like Father, Like Clown", this doesn't seem like that much of a stretch. However, he did attend Yashiva school and his father was a Rabbi. He hadn't spoken with his father in 25 years, but since he is shown to be middle aged or older in the series, its unlikely he didn't have a bar mitzvah. Not much to say other than the Krusty as a Jew thing has already been done to death. The Mr T scene with the menorah wheel makes me cringe it's so dumb.
3. Bart-Mangled Banner (Season 15): Bart accidentally moons the American flag and is imprisoned in Alcatraz by patriotic Springfielders along with the rest of the family for anti-Americanism. Other internees at the prison are the Dixie Chicks, Michael Moore, Elmo, and Bill Clinton. A poke at conservatism and patriotism around the time the Iraq war started. However, this episode was poorly executed and unfunny in a media environment that excessively takes shots at the right wing. Season 6's "Sideshow Bob Roberts" did something similar but was way wittier and funnier than this episode. This feels more like a recent episode of Family Guy. Just mentally replace Bart and the Family with Stewie and Brian next time you watch it and you'll see what I mean. This episode isn't shown often in syndication, not here at least.
2. That 90s Show (Season 19): Homer and Marge split in the 90s while dating. A broken down Homer becomes a grunge rocker. Throws out about 10 years worth of the series and all established character history. The Simpsons is known for bending the timeline but this episode doesn't make sense.
1. All About Lisa (Season 19): Lisa gets a job working as Krusty's assistant, only to later appear in his show. She later learns that being famous is not all it's cracked up to be. The episode was a carbon copy of Season 5's "Bart Gets Famous" but it was not funny with Lisa as the star. This garners the worst simply because it is a direct copy, showing the current writing staff has either no imagination or is not familiar with the show's history. Granted it does get harder to write totally original plots after 400 episodes but this was just pathetic. As a mid-season filler episode they might have gotten away with it, but not as the fanale.
I thought I'd start talking about TV and Movies since so much of this blog is dedicated to how we watch them. Lets talk about the Simpsons, which will be entering it's 20th season this fall. I grew up with the Simpsons and there isn't an episode I haven't seen. A general criticism of the state of the show these days is that it's in decline and has been for some time. The question is, should season 20 be its last?
Back when the show first started, it was one of the first cartoons truly targeted at an adult audience. It dealt with real issues in a humorous manner, yet was still fairly down to earth. In recent seasons, the show has gone from down to Earth to down right surreal and I don't think this has benefited it.
The Simpsons first premiered on the Tracy Ullman Show in 1987 as a series of cartoon shorts used to fill time. The shorts themselves were crude but became hugely popular. The Simpsons first became a show in it's own right in 1989 with an hour long Christmas special, which served as the pilot. The first episode, "Bart the Genius" aired on FOX on January 14th, 1990. It was a groundbreaking show for the network, being FOX's first truly hit show. I can't remember exactly when I first started watching it though I must have been in the third or fourth grade, around 1993/1994. The first two seasons were solid but still crude. Most critics agree the Simpsons really took off in Season 3, when big name guest stars such as Michael Jackson and Aerosmith appeared. The show also welcomed memorable reoccurring guests such as John Lovitz and the late Phil Hartman. The show remained solid right up until season 9 which contained a few memorable episodes. I would peg the death of Phil Hartman's in 1998 as the beginning of the show's decline. I remember back in 2000 talking with my high school friends about whether the show was starting to suck. Even then we thought it had been stale for a while even then.
So today, what's going on with the show? Well, creator Matt Groening and the new writing staff have been able to adapt the show to its changing demographic, which has switched from adults and older teens to a younger set. From about season 12 onward, the show has become increasingly surreal, with nonsensical, poorly written plots. Writers strike aside, I would rate Season 19 as probably one of the worst season to date. Season 19's saving grace was Ralph as a presidential candidate and the "murder" of Martin Prince. Season 18 takes the top dishonour as I didn't contain a single episode I really enjoyed. IGN ranked season 19's "That 90s Show" as one of the worst episodes ever (as Comic Book Guy might say) due to it throwing away all established canon, and doing a bad job of it to boot. This past Sunday's episode brought back Lurleen Lumpkin, a one-off character from the third season. While her original episode was good, we really didn't need to see this character again. Unless you religiously watch reruns or have all the DVDs, most current viewers would not be familiar with her. This particular episode stank of desperation; that they're running out of ideas. The movie itself took the wacky course too and though I found it funny at times, it wasn't worthy of the big screen. TV maybe, direct-to-DVD certainly, but not worth the price of theater tickets. The plot was just way to bizarre and far flung from the series' roots. Of course my tastes aren't the same as everybody's so what I think wouldn't matter if I was the only person saying this. Unfortunately, a lot of critics, both amature and pro, agree. Even the best TV shows produce one or two bad episodes a season. However, when you get to the point where you only have one or two good episodes, it might be time to reconsider keeping it on the air.
The problem seems to be that the original creators and writers have lost control of the series. Add to that that the show has already done every conceivable plot and is starting to get repetitive. As Butters learned, chances are the Simpsons already did it. I really think if Groening wants in the record books, go to season 20 and make it the last. No other prime time comedy is going to break that record. There's nothing worse than a show that's been on too long, especially if it was once one of the greatest shows in history. All in the Family suffered pretty much the same fate and it wasn't on for nearly as long. FOX has plenty of hit shows now, it no longer needs the Simpsons to anchor the network. Homer, Bart, Lisa, Marge, and Maggie have overstayed their welcome. It's time to let them die peacefully. Obviously the show is still profitable for FOX but it really is a joke compared to what it once was. The show itself has mocked its critics but they're going to find this harder to do as it drags on. Sometimes it's best to leave on a high note and move onto other things, rather than let it die a slow, painful death.
